“True Meaning of Marriage"
The
true meaning of marriage is love. By love, I mean not just what we feel
but what we do. Love just as a feeling is very flimsy, an up and down
roller coaster - Love is an action! In order for it to become the
ultimate force and for us to rediscover the true meaning of marriage,
love has to be unconditional. You are not looking for acceptance or
validation. You are giving of yourself to another not because of them,
but because of your values.
The true meaning of marriage
is expressing love unconditionally to another. It is an unstoppable
force that can endure anything. How do you find it? You have to draw
strength from you, neither seeking validation nor acceptance, just
seeking the opportunity to show love.
A marriage should be
celebrated every day and even more so when you reach certain milestones.
The names of some anniversaries provide guidance for appropriate ways
to celebrate or traditional gifts for married couples to give to each
other; if there is a party these can be brought by the guests or
influence the theme or decoration too.
These gifts can vary in different countries, but some years have well-established connections now common to most nations: 1st Paper, 5th Wooden, 10th Tin, 15th Crystal, 20th China, 25th Silver, 30th Pearl, 40th Ruby, 50th Golden, 60th Diamond.
The
tradition may have originated in medieval Germany where, if a married
couple lived to celebrate the 25th anniversary of their wedding, the
wife was presented by her friends and neighbours with a silver wreath to
congratulate them for the good fortune that had prolonged the lives of
the couple for so many years. On celebration of the 50th
anniversary, the wife received a wreath of gold. Over time the number of
symbols expanded and the German tradition came to assign gifts that had
direct connections with each stage of married life. The symbols have
changed over time. For example in the United Kingdom, diamond was a
well-known symbol for the 75th anniversary, but this changed to the now
more common 60th anniversary after Queen Victoria's 60 years on the
throne was widely marked as her Diamond Jubilee.
Some Traditions and Ideas - Anniversary by the Year...
For
a first anniversary a gift of paper should be given, this symbolises
the strength that comes from an interlaced connection of the paper’s
individual threads. It is also tradition to eat the top layer of your
wedding cake on this date.
Your
gift doesn’t have to be expensive; you could get your husband/wife a
journal or scrap book to record memories of your anniversary or stick
photographs from events over the last year. Or you could write a love
letter and sneak it into a lunch box or work bag or for a bit of fun
make a paper trail around your house, each clue could lead to the next
and then finally to some printed tickets to a show or the cinema. Why
not decorate your romantic dinner table with some homemade paper flowers
and use doyleys as your table mats, be sure to be careful if you are
lighting candles with all that paper around!
Some other great
ideas might be postcards, a calendar, magazine subscription, jigsaw
puzzle, a special book or a map (maybe somewhere you have been or would
like to plan a trip to together)!
A fifth wedding anniversary gift
of wood should be given to celebrate this milestone, wood is strong and
long-lasting and should be symbolic of the strength your marriage has.
You
could plant a tree together, in your garden or perhaps at a park or
church that is special to you both. Choose a plant or tree that means
something to you, perhaps an evergreen or a flaming red maple –
something that particularly represents your love for each other. You
could have a romantic dinner and eat your meal out of wooden baskets and
drink from wooden chalices. Wood can be easily and elegantly engraved
or sculpted into romantic shapes and figures – perhaps a personally
engraved plaque with your names and the date or of your house name or a
family welcome sign.
The first major milestone - a tenth year of
marriage should be celebrated with a gift of tin or aluminium; this gift
will reflect the strength and beauty of the connection between the
couple which after 10 years will have learnt to work together – a
relationship that is flexible yet durable, can be bent without being
broken.
Consider
a keepsake gift made from either material such as a picture frame or a
garden decoration – the style that you choose will of course be
dependent on the hobbies or personality of the couple.
Perhaps
some artistic jewellery that combines the traditional material with a
diamond for your wife – or a blue Sapphire is the alternate modern
gemstone for a 10th anniversary. You might even find a tin
box that you could give; you could include a CD of songs from the year
you were married or a special photograph.
Fifteenth anniversaries
should be marked by the giving of a crystal or a crystal themed gift;
this represents the clear and sparkling love between two people.
A
modern gift idea of a watch symbolises the time spent together with a
‘watch crystal’ referring to its transparent glass face. A beautiful
crystal vase with some flowers, a stemware wine glass or champagne flute
will make a perfect gift that can be treasured. You could add a touch
of humour and get a crystal ball to help you see into the future.
You
could have a romantic dinner for two, choose a simple table cloth and
some crystal candle holders, remember the colours that you had at your
wedding for some ‘brownie points’ and even a similar flower arrangement
for that extra special touch.
Reaching a 20th year of
marriage is a massive achievement and should be celebrated by reflecting
on the commitment made. The symbol for this milestone is to give a gift
of china as this signifies how elegant and delicate love can be.
Plan
a cute picnic in the park using china plates and cups that you picked
up from the opportunity shop, or you could invite friends and family
along and make a party of it, after 20 years you certainly have the
right to celebrate.
Use Chinese lanterns as part of your
decoration or head down to china town for a Chinese meal and a night
out, it is quite likely that your rice or noodles will be served in an
authentic china bowl./
Some
nice gift ideas would be a Wedgewood china vase or cake plate, or you
could buy any small gift or tickets to an event and present it in a
china cup or bowl.
Thirtieth wedding anniversaries also known as a
pearl anniversary should be considered very highly by friends &
family members as this is a wonderful accomplishment. Symbolic of a hard
exterior and soft inner the pearl is the perfect gift to represent a
marriage that has lasted as long as 30 years.
A
gift for the lady would be a set of beautiful pearl earrings, a
necklace or bracelet. There are several types of pearl to consider
classic white, black Tahitian or delicate pink – after 30 year a husband
should know which will be most suitable. Perhaps a mother of pearl bowl
or vase or simply choose another gift and incorporate an image of a
pearl into the design and decoration.
If you are planning
something really special you could arrange a trip to an exotic location
that has pearling in its history, such as Broome, WA. If your wedding
date falls between April/May and September/October then this is the
perfect time, it will be during the dry season - warm days, blue skies,
and lots of clean beach. It is a multicultural place with the pearl
industry attracting settlers from all over the world.
Don’t forget
your commemorative Coolaz stubby holders for your trip – they can be
personalised with your names, the date and a special photograph – and
because they pack flat are ideal for lining the bottom of your suitcase!
A fortieth or ruby wedding anniversary is a very special one.
Rubies are thought to hold an eternal inner flame, a perfect symbol to
reflect that a 40 year long marriage is still alive and strong!
If
you are planning a party make sure that you include Ruby coloured
decorations and party favours, if you are having speeches and a toast
then you should ask for this to be made with ruby red wine appose to the
traditional champagne.
For a more casual affair, perhaps a picnic
in the park, choose ruby red plastic cups and plates to decorate and
choose red grape juice as your soft choice alongside red wine. Whichever
location or style of celebration you choose you can be sure to reflect
the ruby red in all of your decorations, invitations and gifts.
For
a sit-down meal you can add individual names to your coolers like the
ones below, a great alternative to a place name and a gift all in one!
The golden anniversary for the 50th year is one of the most deservedly celebrated, this half a century milestone is a fantastic statement!
Gold
all the way for this event, decorate your party venue with gold
glitter, golden flowers and centrepieces, balloons, candles and stubby
holder gifts!
If you are in the US and know a couple who is
celebrating 50 years or more of marriage, or who was just been married,
you can have an anniversary greeting or wedding congratulations sent to
them from the White House.
In Australia you could plan a trip to
the Gold Coast or to a Gold mine – Sovereign Hill in Ballarat, VIC would
be perfect! Take a trip to the museum and experience a golden
adventure.
A
great gift for this anniversary would be a large album filled with
photographs and memories throughout 50 years of marriage, start with the
wedding and include major events and family gatherings – you could even
organise a guest book for people to sign and write messages of
congratulations.
Whether you are celebrating your first or
fiftieth wedding milestone I hope that this article helps you with gift
ideas and planning your event. Congratulations.